May 27, 2010 11:02 A.M.

What’s the point anyways? It’s not like she is ever going to read this. But maybe she will. Not physically, but maybe by writing this she will know I’m still here. I haven’t gone anywhere but it seems like my world no longer intersects with hers. You know when you walk down the street and see someone and your stomach drops? You know that one day your world may be connected with theirs? Well my stomach is in a never-ending state of free-fall. I see hope in the future, but I see a jungle of doubt ahead. But what is hope? Is it just an ideal created by the masses to extend the helpless minds of the unbounded human soul? Or is it something greater? Is hope the only living, breathing complexity that brings our aimless lives together? For what is in a life lest others are present? What is the point of living if it were not to live for those around you? I think she can hear me. But she isn’t hearing me. She is hearing an ideal, a hope that floats amongst the waters of the transcended souls and love, swirling in the waves of the unconscious. But maybe it’s a lot simpler than that. Maybe it’s a lot to do about something we can‘t control. Maybe all she hears is her conscious life: what people tell her, what she feels in the worldly sense, or what she is told by others. How is it that one transcends this worldly pleasure and finds what is truly in one’s soul? But then again, aren’t I acting in the worldly? Pained by another’s worldly desires and path, being affected by something banal in human nature. So says anyone else who knows she is there but not listening or maybe listening, but not there. You can take the soul out of love, but you can’t take the love out of destiny. Destiny. That’s a funny word. What constitutes destiny if there will always be an end result? Is destiny not something that we can find in this life? Or is it something transworldly found in the thick air of this life and another life, together. All I know is I hope my destiny is with her. Can I hope that? Are hope and destiny interlockable? Can I hope for a change to my destiny? Can I hope for a speedy discovery of my destiny? Am I allowed to hope? But I know this. In a world full of change, hope is the only constant. Hope is the only word in the dictionary that can always be used. So if I’m not allowed to hope about my destiny, maybe this world isn’t the place for me. Maybe there is another path to the world I want to find. But I will not let anyone tell me I can’t hope. Hope is eternal, hope is unbounding. I will never lose hope.

We are never lost while searching for the one we’ve lost.

Sincerely,

Hope.